If you’ve been tracking these lessons, the other posts have involved person-neutral stories. But for this lesson, it’s personal.

For the longest time, the feeling of being an effective, competent leader felt elusive and exclusive to me. When others made it look easy, I found myself wishing I could be where they were.

Whether it was in high school, college, pharmacy school, or work, any leadership position I held felt more granted than earned. It felt like people were just being nice when they bestowed a title on me. I wasn’t sure how confident they were in me to act like one, let alone be effective or successful.

Even after getting fired presented definitive evidence that I needed to improve, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get there.

In 2012, something amazing happened. I got an email from Nancy Alvarez, one of the directors of a pharmacy leadership nonprofit. I had known her for a while, but I didn’t attend one of their conferences until two years prior.

In her email, Nancy mentioned that one of their facilitators had to back out, and they wanted me to step in. I accepted without hesitation. My job situation at the time was precarious, so I knew I could clear out my calendar to prepare for this opportunity.

Two blessings happened during this conference that saved my pharmacy career.

The first was my shift in mindset when I taught the material. Teaching material in the service of others forces you to study the material closely, even more than reading a book for yourself. This means identifying my exact leadership deficiencies while I presented the content.

The second was working alongside Michael Negrete, who brought out the best in me as I shared this material as a rookie. He accentuated my strengths and covered up my weaknesses and mistakes, all while making me confident in how I contributed. Evaluating my experience with him drew out insights around what made him effective. It served as a leadership blueprint, which I then incorporated into my own personal style.

The combination of these two experiences changed what I told myself. Before, it was, “I could never become a good leader.” After, I asked myself, “What if I could become a good leader? How would I carry myself? What work would that involve?”

When I gave myself permission for what’s possible, only then did the transformation begin.

Fair warning: the change will feel more like a crockpot than a microwave. Of course, we want instant impact. But those on the self-improvement journey know that baseline competence is only one of many steps along the way of a lifetime commitment.

Realizing the playing field is level when dealing with leadership ability helps. No one starts off as an expert, which is comforting.

However, you need to pair that statement with your internal belief that with enough effort and evaluation, that you can become effective in leading others.

To boil it down into three action steps:

1. Believe you can get there. Putting a low ceiling on your capabilities sabotages your trajectory.

2. Put in the work. Some might have an advantage when starting, but no one is exempt from investing effort.

3. Play the long game. Leadership journeys go on for a lifetime. Keep your setbacks and successes in perspective.

For now, don’t worry about being the best. Just focus on getting better.