Six Common Reasons People Don’t Do Yearly Reflections

Welcome to the end of 2023! How has your year been, honestly? Whether it's been a good year or a tough one, you have an opportunity to reflect on your most important lessons, set goals, and make adjustments on what to start, stop, and keep doing.

Let's look at five (and one bonus, so six) common reasons people don't take time to reflect, and a response to remove each barrier.

1. "I'm too busy."

Time around the holidays usually slows down. So now is the best time to reflect, before the new year picks up. It doesn't have to take that long, either. Even fifteen minutes would provide enough space to allow your mind to roam. Action without vision is a nightmare. Just remember that carving out time is a decision only you can make. What will you have to say "no" to in order to say "yes" to this?

2. "I don't know how."

Please don't complicate the reflection process. Here are some simple questions to play around with. The key is making sure you write down your answers somewhere.

What did I learn?

What makes these lessons important?

What adjustment(s) do I want to make?

Why do I want to make these adjustments?

Who am I trying to become? What are the reasons for this desire?

You could also set goals as well, if you like goals. My only request is that you assign an accountability partner for each goal to increase your chances of meeting it. If you really want to dig in, don't settle for the SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, timely). Solidify them by zooming out, looking at the bigger theme your goals should align with. You might be surprised at what you realize about yourself.

3. "I'm afraid of what I might discover."

This reason is a little more interesting. Some people keep themselves busy to bypass dealing with bigger internal issues. For instance, filling up a calendar with activities to avoid feeling lonely. This is an understandable coping mechanism. Busyness also does nothing to address the actual problem, which could be a fear of rejection or conflict. Here's where involving a coach will prove beneficial. But even if you don't hire one, at least invite some trusted friends to share their perspectives and help you generate ideas to experiment with.

4. "I think it's stupid."

If you do this alone, no one is around to watch you. This means no one can mock you for doing it, either. If you put a low ceiling on possibilities, don't expect to discover anything interesting. This is what we call a moment of "self-fulfilling prophecy." As Henry Ford says, "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." As with reason number one, just try it for fifteen minutes. If you still don't find it helpful even after an honest effort, fair enough. But please don't jump to a foregone conclusion.

5. "I just don't want to."

Are you content, or complacent? There's a difference. If you're content, great! The irony is that being content gives you the freedom to experiment with changes while minimizing your risk. Of course, if you can list the reasons you ARE content, guess what? Congratulations, you've done your reflections for the year! But if you're complacent, now is a great time to examine the reasons you feel that way. If you feel stuck, let a coach or trusted friends help you generate ideas to get unstuck.

Bonus: "I don't think it will help."

Overlapping with reason number 4, pessimism will keep you safe. It will also keep you small. What's the bigger risk: failing to succeed or failing to try? Generating awareness is meant to generate discomfort. Of course, if awareness doesn't lead to directed, intentional action, then yes, reflections will only help you so much. But if you're willing to initiate the cycle of do, evaluate, adjust, and repeat, maybe you might surprise yourself. And there's only one way to find out.

Hopefully this message is a fresh angle on a recurring theme in being human. As Simon Sinek says in "The Infinite Game," the goal is not to end the game. The goal is to keep playing - and to enjoy the process as we play. If your goals for 2024 involve becoming more visible, vocal, and valuable, I'm inviting you to schedule a call with me so we can discuss a possible partnership. I only have room for 2 or 3 clients as we start the new year. Will you be one of them?