What To Do When You Lose Your Job

Kyle purchased a boots store in Houston, Texas. The previous owner left him with some unwelcome financial surprises, but Kyle managed to grow the business in spite of them. After some initial angst getting everything started, the business stabilized enough for Kyle to exhale with relief, even if only for a little while.

When people started wearing masks around town in early 2020, however, Kyle started feeling anxious.

A big factor in keeping his doors open was Houston's annual rodeo, every February and March. The rodeo always brought in enough revenue to sustain him through three or four lean months. In March of 2020, when the rodeo was barely open for a few days, the city shut it down due to COVID. Revenue dried up, leaving Kyle in a tough spot. He lost a lot of sleep, wondering how he would replace the lost customers to pay his bills. By July, Kyle couldn't afford rent any longer. He closed his business for good. Losing the store left him feeling hurt, uncertain of what he would do next. The store was a big part of who he was, and he struggled to move on. He also felt worse for his employees, who were counting on the jobs he provided them.

Can you relate to Kyle? Do you have a similar experience?

What feelings came up for you? Anxiety? Disappointment? Anger? Helplessness?

When I got fired, the first forty-eight hours were brutal. I went through disbelief over losing the job, blamed my boss for unfair expectations, and worried about how I would cover my expenses. I also had to deal with the shame from disappointing the friends who helped me get this job. I moved to Houston specifically for this company, only to waste this opportunity.

No matter how unfair your circumstances, you still have to move on.

What's the best way to process the incident and move forward? Jumping on a job search engine like Indeed is easy enough. But if you want better options and odds, here's a plan based on personal experience.

  1. Give yourself a moment to reflect. While Kyle should look for another paycheck as soon as possible, he should also carve out time to journal his thoughts. Topics to cover include the feelings he has about the loss, the lessons he learned, and next action steps to take. For some people, their jobs define them. They invest in their profession on emotional and financial levels. In Kyle's case, he can start by giving himself time to grieve. He should also celebrate the good times and identify valuable lessons from that season. Moving on is the best way to let go. But allowing some time to acknowledge the milestone will add closure.

  2. List three options you'd like to learn more about. After journaling his thoughts, Kyle should also jot down some alternative professions he could see himself doing. This is an idea taken from Designing Your Life. Authors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans call these "odyssey plans." While their original exercise intended to challenge people to look past their immediate job options, evaluating new possibilities is all the more relevant in a COVID-disrupted job landscape.

  3. Interview people in those options. Doing generic "research" excites no one. In contrast, interviewing people who love their jobs is fun. Learn what they love, but also the tough parts of the job no one else would see. In Kyle's case, he should also attempt to find mutual connections to make introductions. This will increase the chance of success, because referrals help with credibility and familiarity.

  4. Ask them to help you explore what's available. In Designing Your Life, Burnett and Evans emphasize not to make a direct job request. Instead, someone in Kyle's position should ask, "How would someone like me get a job at a company like this?" This question keeps the focus on seeing what's out there instead of coming across as asking for a favor. There might be nothing available at the company of the person Kyle is interviewing. But the interviewee can refer him to someone in a position who can help him now.

  5. Keep going. This step may seem obvious to some. But people tend to give up too early if they don't see immediate results. Discouragement can feel heavy. So Kyle might not trust the process if people aren't responding to his emails. On the flip side, getting a job isn't the ultimate goal. Evaluating his career path is not a one-time task. The process is iterative, which means what works now might not work five years later. Kyle can undertake this process whenever he wants, whether he has a stable job or not.

Do you find yourself in a situation like Kyle's? Can't afford to stay stuck? Help is just a click away.

Jerry Fu

I am a conflict resolution coach for Asian leaders.

https://www.adaptingleaders.com
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