Lesson 5: Setting Boundaries - How to Push Back and Maintain Self-Respect
David had just started as a pharmacy technician when he encountered a recurring problem. He wanted to make a good impression, so he went out of his way to help his colleagues. He would take on additional tasks without complaint, which included managing the drive-thru window. This was a stressful responsibility that consumed a lot of time and morale.
At first, David didn't mind lending a hand. However, as time went on, he noticed that his colleagues were taking advantage of his willingness to serve. They made covering the drive-thru his unofficial primary role, leaving him overwhelmed and unable to focus on his other duties. He got tired of breathing in secondhand smoke from drivers’ cigarettes and requests to pick up a few grocery products for the customers’ convenience. Brian realized that others were capitalizing on his helpful nature. And it was affecting his performance and job satisfaction.
This situation continued until Brian decided to speak up. He approached the pharmacy manager and requested implementing a daily schedule to divide the drive-thru responsibilities evenly among the staff. The manager agreed, and the new system ensured everyone got a fair share of the workload. Brian's experience taught him a vital lesson about the importance of setting boundaries and standing up for himself.
Key Insights
People Test Boundaries
In any professional setting, people will test your limits to see how much you will accommodate their requests. While being a team player is important, consistently giving in more than you're comfortable with leads to an unhealthy dynamic. It's crucial to recognize when your willingness to help is cutting into your own tasks and when to push back appropriately. Developing a reputation as a “yes-man” is not an easy one to shake off.
2. Discretion in Response Is Crucial
It's important to address situations where your boundaries are being tested. How and when you respond requires careful consideration. You need to show discretion to maintain professional relationships and a harmonious work environment. However, there is a fine line between being discreet and being too deferential. The latter can set unhealthy precedents. Calling people out in public doesn’t work in your favor. A wiser response might be to say “yes” to a task in the moment, but then pull the person aside later to explain what needs to change going forward.
3. Be Proactive When Setting Boundaries
Establishing boundaries early on can prevent situations where you are taken advantage of. By being clear on your limits and expectations, you can avoid being seen as the "safety valve" person for all extra tasks. Do too many, and exhaustion will sneak up on you before you know it. It's essential to balance helpfulness with maintaining your official responsibilities. Don’t wait until burnout sets in before you make changes. Reactive boundaries are better than nothing. But being proactive will nip problems early.
Actions to Consider
Communicate Boundaries Clearly
When you notice others taking advantage of your helpfulness, it's time to reestablish and review your boundaries in a clear and specific manner. For example, you could say, "I am happy to help with the drive-thru occasionally, but I also have other responsibilities that need my attention. Can we create a schedule to ensure a fair distribution of this task?"
2. Evaluate Situations Before Responding
Before addressing a situation where your boundaries are being tested, evaluate the context and potential impact of your response. Ask yourself whether it's the right time to speak up and how your response might affect your professional relationships. This thoughtful approach ensures that your actions are measured and effective. Knee-jerk responses escalate tension, so taking a few seconds to think can only help you.
3. Get Management Involved - After
If setting boundaries on your own proves challenging, seek input from your manager or supervisor. Present your concerns and suggest solutions that promote fairness and efficiency. For instance, David's suggestion to implement a schedule for the drive-thru workload was a proactive solution which management supported. This improved the situation for everyone involved, not just David.
4. Bonus: Remember, it’s YOUR decision
My best friend in college used to tell me something his dad would say to him all the time: “Whatever you decide, remember – it’s your decision.” This means he accepts – and lives with - one hundred percent of the consequences. He isn’t being a victim, nor is he pointing fingers. You might not like your choices. But you still must decide what you would rather deal with. In David’s case, he can say “yes” or “no.” He also can speak up or stay silent.
Conclusion
David's experience as a pharmacy technician highlights the importance of setting boundaries and standing up for yourself in the workplace. By recognizing when your willingness to help is enabling the neglect of others, using discretion in your responses, and proactively setting boundaries, you can prevent resentment and ensure a healthy work dynamic.
People will push you to see how much you push back, but by communicating your limits clearly and seeking support when needed, you can create a fair and balanced work environment. Remember, maintaining your boundaries is not about being uncooperative. It's about preserving your ability to perform effectively and sustainably. This lesson goes hand in hand with saying “no.” Not only for the sake of saying “no,” but to be able to say “yes” to the right things.
PS- this doesn’t just apply to work settings. This also applies to keeping work from complicating your personal life, and vice versa. The practical tip is this: if you’re dealing with a life-sized personal interruption, you’re better off burning a day’s worth of paid time off to handle it. Don’t let it spill over into your workday.
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